Wow, I haven't posted in a while! I didn't have much to share, and what I did have to share just didn't feel good enough to share because I was experiencing a pretty deep depression.
I sought counseling but wouldn't ya know my "awesome" insurance referred me to a guidance counselor type instead of the psychiatrist/psychologist I need. Although she said a few things that helped, I ended our relationship during the second session. I will be returning to counseling but with someone more equipped to handle my unresolved issues from childhood. Right now though, I'm in a place where I don't have time in my routine for counseling just yet. We are currently in the midst of a move at work that we/the building were slightly unprepared for so things are hectic for me until I get settled. I will add that this move has made a huge difference in my life bc now I have an office with a window!
I still have days where I struggle, but some of the tips the counselor gave me have been worth a try before I delve further into thinking something is terribly wrong with me. Practicing Gratitude was first, which has been super helpul. The other was to focus more on progress over perfection. I have major perfection issues that keep me back from the things that I want. One of my big down falls was my diet, in ways I didn't even know.
At my heaviest I was 292. This morning I'm at 230. I lost the first half of my weight hauling A at the gym and barely eating, then I had a year or two of backslide/lose a little/maintain. This last half of the journey has been fought in the kitchen!
At first I phased out all our non paleo foods, and once they were gone, started replacing everything with raw veggies, fruits, Gluten Free wraps if something like that is required for a meal. I haven't been strict with the use of organic fruits/veggies bc we operate on a budget but I decided to give the progress way of thinking a try and I'm really glad I did.
I'm uploading a pic to show my progress on the outside so far. These pictures show me proof that dairy was not good for me, eating out was not good for me. We made this change about a month ago after returning from vacation! I think I have lost at least 10# since we made this switch. I couldn't tell you when my last AF was but I can tell you now! (Today, lol).
I have a PCP appointment to calculate weight lost & get a referral to see Dr Reshef! It's REALLY GONNA HAPPEN! EEEEK! I have really just been trying to be as positive as possible about having a baby, it's helped to make Brannon and I much more hopeful going into this.
Anyways, updates soon!